Reclaiming The Spirituality Of Birth - Healing for Mothers and Babies

Everything connected to birth is sacred. Giving birth is an initiation, it is a soul experience. The greatest malady in today’s world is the loss of soul, as modern living alienates us from our innate ways of being. Societal ideals and norms create a divorce between our primordial roots in nature. Most astonishingly, the mother role is highly devalued. 

Studies show that how we are born and what happens in the womb are of crucial significance to later life. In other words, the prenatal and birth experience is formative. Unfortunately women have to battle with modern medicine as its aim is to separate our mind (or intuition) from our body. Since childbirth is so medically managed, over time, there has been a major shift away from trusting the natural instinctive process, toward a dependence on technology and testing. Fear, and the suspicion of nature itself have caused birth to become increasingly medicalized and controlled. These problems and pressures women are facing are affecting them at a soul level. 

I have come to understand that there are way too many wounded mothers in this world. It is very difficult for them to acknowledge even to themselves that they are unhappy with their pregnancy and/or birth experience. “Birth plans” are women’s attempts to be heard above the system that many feel has appropriated something that belongs to them. Reclaiming the birth experience is often riddled with difficulties and the feeling of being alienated while also very vulnerable. 

To make matters worse, grieving for the loss of the expected and desired birth experience is seldom acknowledged or allowed a place in the emotional life of a new mother. It is expected that she “gets on with her life” and “forgets” about what might have been. This means that the pain of losing something precious (a good birth experience) remains unexpressed causing further problems (especially towards how the mother feels about herself and her connection with her baby). Being pregnant one moment and then having a tiny human to look after the next can be undoubtedly overwhelming. Depressive feelings appear to be almost inevitable, particularly following a difficult birth, such as those that involve induction, drugs, forceps, cesareans, and other forms of medical or technological interventions. 

Being preoccupied with the physical aspects of childbirth, one can easily overlook the emotional side, especially the negative psychological effects of a highly medicalized birth. These wounded mothers have frequently experienced emotional pain and suffering in giving birth and as a result, this has a profoundly adverse effect on the development of their future lives and those of their babies. The wounded mother may find it hard to feel love for their child or others close to them, or they may feel love, but it will be tinged with pain. Another reason why they become wounded is because she may be aware that there is a part of her that does not want to become a mother, or fears becoming one, and the ability to nurture and bond with their babies may be damaged due to her emotional and soul pain.

Some thoughts are unconsciously held during pregnancy. If it is not their first baby, there are often expectations relating to their past, especially those with a bad experience of childbirth, they will want to make it right the next time. For many women pregnancy and childbirth present an opportunity to rewrite the stories of the past. However for some, their hopes and those expectations can become crippling if they are not rightly held and can prevent them from approaching life and new experiences openly.

There is a need in most women conscious or unconscious to experience something sacred when giving birth. However too often these needs are denied since the psychological and spiritual dimensions of the birth process are largely unacknowledged. Our personal wounds, as well as our aspirations, are merely part of, and reflections of humanity’s suffering. To be born is to take on pains and joys of living as they evolve in the course of one’s earthly existence. And though our souls may be individual, they are all part of the world’s soul. The wounded mother is also the lost voice of Mother Earth, unable to articulate her outrage at the desecration and immobilization of the feminine power in our collective consciousness, for giving birth is a bone-deep experience tied to the blood of life. 

As a Doula/Birth-worker I have a deep regard for the instinctive and natural childbearing wisdom inherent in all women, and for the courage that human beings show in the face of tremendous change. Birth professionals need to re-educate women on the childbirth continuum all together. The ways to prepare for birth strengthens a woman’s natural abilities and self-confidence. By nature, birth preparation has to be holistic, or whole-centered, involving both the mind and body. Women who prepare for birth through a combo of bodywork, energy work, and other techniques have a greater resource to lean on in the birth room. Bodywork such as yoga, has a way of grounding the person in the experience. Instead of just lectures and seminars where the left brain is being used, we need to incorporate the right brain which involves using the physical body and the mind in congruence through movement and mindfulness. Our right brain, (and left side of the body) is more connected to our intuition, our natural and instinctive selves, and will be the key tool used during the primal experience of birth. 

Each pregnant woman is in a state of becoming, she is not what she once was, nor is she yet what she will become, this makes her very suggestable and susceptible to her environment and those around her. The mother must take a vital step in becoming responsible for her own health and well-being. She must have encouragement to take care of herself rather than surrender to the ministrations of medical professionals, as is often the case in standard clinics and hospitals. 

It should be encouraged that the woman listens and taps into her own instinctive inner truth. Women are the ancestral sex, it is our right to connect with eons of childbearing women that came before and harness their ancient wisdom. Each woman shares the innate knowledge of childbirth that lies in the deepest layers of her psyche (when she is allowed the space to embody it). We invoke this energy by honoring wisdom of the ancients and the experience of childbirth itself. Once she has connected to her matriarchal lineage, her self-assurance will be greatly enhanced. 

For most women, their life unfolds in three ways, first she is a maiden, who becomes a mother, and eventually grows into a grandmother. Her transition from daughter to mother is the most influential. Before conception occurs, there is an imprinted story and intuitive images of being a mother from the generations of mothers before her. The inner mother is that part of a woman that lives deep inside her psychic space and her womb. The interaction of bodily changes with psychic and emotional elements will influence her transition into motherhood as it brings about access to unconscious processes not generally available to just anyone. The inner pull of pregnancy will make her dreamy and preoccupied with herself and her baby, and less interested and involved in outside factors. This is a period of time where the woman becomes more aware of her inner thoughts, feelings, fantasies, conflicts, and vivid dreams. Some may find themselves becoming more interested in animals and children for the first time in their life as well. Psychic permeability allows her to contact her inner world and be more open to change and growth. With every transformation there is also the dissolving of her old structures and self, and this can cause anxiety, insecurity, and fears to surface. 

Being mindful and as conscious as possible during your pregnancy is so vital because research shows that the baby is like a recording machine in the womb. Additionally the baby and mother are one, since the baby is closely connected to their mother and they have not developed any sense of self or ego outside of the womb. This means that all of the mothers thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are imprinted in the baby’s psyche. Making a connection by visualizing the child you are carrying can be a very healing and valuable experience. The expectant mother enters an altered state of consciousness to one of heightened sensitivities where she will be able to identify with her baby in order to meet its basic needs. This is a necessary pre-conditioned form of bonding.  

On a deeper level the pregnant woman is undergoing an archetypal experience; the rite of passage. The pregnant woman is in the process of shedding the maiden or daughter role in order to give birth to herself as a mother. In undertaking this initiation women enter the Goddess realm and experience the most sacred feminine mystery that has existed since the beginning of time. Awareness and empowerment can arise in women through the revelation that females throughout history have all gone through this process, it is then that she understands she and the Goddess are one.